There are so many misconceptions about self-confidence floating around that it can be difficult to know what to believe. We often think that we need to have a perfect life to feel good about ourselves, or that self-confidence is something that “just comes naturally” and whether you are born with it or not…This isn’t true!
In this blog post, we will explore some of the most common myths about self-confidence and how to get past them. To help you believe in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals and enjoy life!
Myth #1:
Self-confidence is something you’re born with
This myth is probably one of the most damaging to our confidence development. It suggests that if we don’t have it naturally, then there is nothing we can do about developing it. This couldn’t be further from the truth! This belief can have a damaging impact on the way you view yourself.
Self-confidence is not an innate quality but rather a skill that can be learned and developed through practice and dedication. By exposing oneself to challenging situations, taking risks, and focusing on developing certain strengths, one can become more confident in their abilities.
Self-confidence is something that can also be nurtured and instilled with the help of others. Friends, family members and mentors can act as role models by offering encouragement and providing feedback during difficult circumstances or failures.
Furthermore, by learning how to handle criticism, embracing failure as a core part of the learning process, setting realistic goals for oneself, and accepting aspects of your life experience that cannot be changed, you can find the courage to become your best self within any situation.
Use similar paths that you took to develop other skills that you have already mastered, such as accessing resources to learn about confidence skills, setting a goal about what you aim to achieve, practice-practice-practice, monitoring your progress and getting constructive feedback from supporters, celebrating your wins and keep moving forward.
Myth #2:
Only extroverts are confident
The myth that “only extroverts are confident” is inaccurate and can be extremely damaging. Despite what some may believe, introverts are just as capable of self-assurance as their extroverted counterparts.
Confidence is built by believing in yourself, developing self-esteem, and pushing past limitations. There have been several people who have proven that regardless of their outward demeanour, they can succeed in whatever they set their minds to. For instance, author, Ernest Hemingway, physicist, Albert Einstein, cricketer, Sachin Tendulkar and Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg who revolutionized the way we use technology. These examples demonstrate that it’s not necessary to be extroverted to foster confidence.
Everyone can be confident no matter who they are or how they present themselves to others.
Myth #3:
Self-confidence is all about PERFECT
This myth pressures you to have a “perfect life” and to feel good about yourself, all the time. The truth is, self-confidence has nothing to do with how perfect our lives are. Self-confidence does not guarantee perfection.
Instead, it simply allows us to have faith in our abilities and skills regardless of what life throws at us. Believing that we need to be perfect or live a perfect life can lead to severe self-criticism and unrealistic expectations, which can result in a negative mindset concerning failures and shortcomings. This feeling of inadequacy can manifest itself in a variety of ways such as low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression.
It can also cause people to take unhealthy risks to achieve an unobtainable level of success or “perfection”. For example, some may sacrifice their health by overworking themselves or lacking healthy relationships due to an obsession with achievement. Realising that perfectionism isn’t necessary for success is key to both physical and mental well-being.
Myth #4:
People have self-confidence because they are successful
The harmful myth that people are confident because they are successful is simply not true. Confidence has absolutely nothing to do with success – it’s the other way around; having confidence is what leads to success.
Having self-confidence gives those who possess it the ability to take risks and face challenges, which increases their chances of succeeding. On the other hand, lacking self-confidence can make life incredibly difficult as it can reduce one’s motivation and lead to feelings of worthlessness and helplessness.
Examples of people who have achieved great things without relying on their successes for confidence abound. Oprah Winfrey was a child who was constantly bullied yet went on to become one of the most influential women in history; Jack Ma was turned down by dozens of jobs yet later founded the massive company Alibaba; George Washington Carver was born into slavery yet went on become a legendary scientist and inventor.
These real-life examples demonstrate how success should not be used as a barometer for measuring confidence, but rather should be seen as a result of it.
Myth #5:
Self-confident people are always happy
Believing this myth can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure. Though a person’s level of confidence can influence their happiness, the two are not the same.
It’s possible for an individual to be confident yet still feel sad or dissatisfied with certain aspects of their life – just as it is possible for an individual to lack confidence but still feel joy and contentment.
For example, an Olympic gold medalist may have immense self-confidence regarding their athletic abilities but still struggle with feelings of depression and anxiety due to other areas of their life. Conversely, someone who may have low self-esteem about themselves could be able to find pleasure in simple activities such as walking with friends or listening to music despite feeling down about themselves overall.
Difficult, sad and challenging occur in everyone’s lives, even when you are confident. So you can be confident and still have periods of sadness, upset and doubt.
Also, appearing confident in one or a few areas of life does not guarantee self-confidence in all aspects of life.
Recognise these self-confidence myths in yourself
Now that we have explored some of the myths about self-confidence, let’s talk about how acknowledging these myths can help your confidence development.
When you become aware of the inaccurate ideas that you have about self-confidence, you can start to question them and see them for what they are: myths! This can help you to develop a more realistic and achievable view of self-confidence, which can be empowering.
You can also start to see how getting past these obstacles can help you to achieve your goals. If you believed that you need to have a perfect life to feel good about yourself, you may give up on your goals before you even start. But if you know that this isn’t true, you can stay motivated and keep going even when things get tough.
So, the next time you find yourself doubting your self-confidence, remember that these myths are not accurate or helpful. Acknowledge them, question them, and then let them go. You can do this! And when you do, you will be one step closer to believing in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals and enjoy life.