Different perspectives can transform the ways you look at a problem in your life. When you don’t feel good about yourself, even easy things can seem like big issues. You may find yourself jumping to conclusions, making assumptions, and catastrophizing situations. And then feeling overwhelmed by what appears to be a towering mountain of problems.
But what if there are a few different ways to look at a problem and test its validity? By asking yourself a few helpful questions and adjusting your perspective, you can uncover the surprising truth that, more often than not, a problem is not so much of a problem after all.
Clarify the problem
Identifying and clarifying the problem you’re facing is the first and most crucial step in problem-solving.
It helps to provide you with a clearer understanding of the issue at hand. And prevents miscommunication, and helps in formulating an effective solution.
Zeroing in on what the specific issue is can lead to relevant and effective answers.
Example 1: Imagine you’re in a meeting with your boss. The discussion includes evidence suggesting that your productivity may be declining. You work hard and feel unfairly criticised in this way. You have a sense that all of your efforts and your role at work is found wanting. Instead of jumping to conclusions, becoming defensive or shutting down, you decide to clarify the problem. You go through the evidence that was raised. It it becomes clearer that the issue isn’t about productivity, but rather about your steadily increasing workload. And you attempts to juggle this.
Without identifying this, solutions like overtime or additional training might have been suggested. This would not address the real issue and could lead to further stress, tensions and miscommunication. But with the problem clarified, you can now propose a solution. This includes reviewing your workload to ensure better balance and productivity.
Example 2: Suppose you and your friend often have disagreements about meeting times. You initially think your friend is always late. You feel that they have no appreciation about meeting you and your time. This becomes a simmering problem for you which you want to confront, and possibly condemn(!). However, upon reflection, you realize the actual issue that frustrates you is a lack of clear communication about meeting times.
When you realize this, and talk it through with your friend, it becomes clear that they have a different understanding of terms like “in the afternoon” or “later tonight”. You both agree that you will both be better off setting a clear and specific time that you agree on.
Without identifying the true issue, these tensions could have built up more and more. Possibly leading to resentment or the worsening of your friendship. Now that you’ve identified the problem, you can both agree to set specific times for meeting up, potentially resolving the issue.
Remember, a well-defined problem often contains within it the seeds of its own solution.
Perspective QUESTIONS
1. Can I do something (or a few things) to manage this problem?
One powerful way to change your perspective about a problem is to ask yourself whether you can take action (or multiple actions) to address it. By shifting your focus from the problem itself to potential solutions, you can defuse the issue and gain a new sense of control over the situation.
This approach may reveal that what you initially perceived as a problem is, in fact, a challenge that pushes you out of your comfort zone. It may require effort or learning on your part or involves working with or asking for help from others. All of which can be intimidating but ultimately rewarding experiences.
When you look at problems through the lens of steps you can take to manage them, you empower yourself to tackle it head-on. And you also unlock valuable learning points about your patterns of thought and behaviour.
With this mindset, you can transform problems into opportunities for growth, self-awareness, and personal development.
So the next time you find yourself facing a seemingly overwhelming problem, pause, look at it from a new direction, and ask yourself: “What actions can I take, big or small, to helpfully change this?” You might just be surprised by the answers you find.
2. Is it any of my business/responsibility?
Another transformative approach to addressing a problem is to ask yourself whether it’s truly your business or concern. This perspective can significantly alter your view of an issue, often defusing it entirely.
By questioning your involvement, you may discover that you have been taking, or have been led to bear, unreasonable or inappropriate responsibility for something that doesn’t directly involve you or that you. Or have no power to change. This can lead to feelings of overwhelm and wasted energy. Energy that could be better directed towards aspects of your life that do concern you.
Recognizing the boundaries of what you reasonably can or can’t do and focusing your efforts on the areas within your control can be incredibly freeing. It allows you to prioritize your time and energy more effectively. Ultimately leading to greater satisfaction and progress in your own life.
Example 1: Let’s say you’re a software developer and your company is experiencing network issues. The IT specialist who usually handles this is on leave and management asks you to step in. This is despite networking not being your area of expertise. You’re expected to solve the issue quickly. But due to your lack of experience in this specific field, you struggle and feel overwhelmed.
This situation can make you feel like you have a problem, even though it’s outside your job responsibilities and skills. It also poses a risk to the company if the network issue isn’t resolved properly due to your lack of expertise.
Example 2: Consider a scenario where a close friend is constantly struggling with their finances. They frequently overspend and then turn to you for financial help to cover their bills. You want to help your friend, but it’s beginning to strain your own finances and cause unnecessary stress.
This situation can make you feel like you have a problem with your finances and not being able to meet their expectations. Even though the root issue is your friend’s inability to manage their finances, something you can’t directly change.
So the next time you find yourself consumed by a problem, pause and reflect. “Is this really my business/responsibility?” This simple yet powerful question can help you regain clarity, and reclaim your energy. And refocus on the things that genuinely matter in your life.
3. Can I access information or skills to manage this issue?
Adopting a perspective of seeking information and developing skills can be a game-changer when addressing problems. By asking yourself whether you can identify and access the necessary resources to tackle an issue, you may find that it’s not as scary as it initially seemed.
To decrease your tension, start by writing down what and why you perceive something as a problem. Then, begin researching and gathering information that can help you.
This process may reveal potential skills that you could learn to help you deal with the problem to your advantage.
The bonus of this approach is that you could acquire new skills that could be useful in other areas of your life.
By looking at problems as opportunities for growth and learning, you can transform them into a helpful experiences that supports your personal development.
So the next time you face a problem, remember to ask yourself: “What information or skills can I find to overcome this challenge?” This shift in perspective can help you to take control of the situation and build your confidence.
4. Am I turning this into a problem?
Sometimes, how you think about something can make it look or become a problem. By asking yourself whether your thought processes might be contributing to the issue, you can gain a fresh perspective that can set the problem in a different light.
It’s not uncommon for your mind to create imaginary problems or apply skewed thinking patterns, such as catastrophizing, a biased negative filter, or jumping to conclusions. These distorted ways of thinking can lead you down a path where perceived problems seem to grow bigger and bigger.
To solve a problem, try to think about what is really involved. Focus on the facts instead of being carried along by the currents of worry or upset. Analyse the problem without judgement and try to identify any irrational thought patterns or assumptions that may influence how you are seeing it. By doing so, you may shed new light on the issue, often revealing that it’s not as big or impossible as it first seemed.
This way can help you gain a clearer understanding of the true nature of the problem. It can also provide you with a sense of relief as you realize that your own thoughts were turning a kitten into a growling bear!
5. Can I talk to someone about this challenge?
Reaching out to a helpful and supportive person can be a powerful way to change your view on a problem. By asking yourself if there is someone you trust – a friend, family member, or therapist – with whom you can discuss the issue, you may find that the problem becomes less overwhelming.
Talking to a trusted person can provide a useful sounding board, allowing you to put words to your thoughts and unload some of the pent-up worry and stress.
Talking this way can also offer fresh perspectives, potential solutions, and valuable advice on how to address the issue. Don’t hesitate to tap into these resources. Remember, everyone faces challenges in life, and we can all benefit from supporting one another on our individual journeys.
So the next time you find yourself grappling with a seemingly giant issue, consider reaching out to someone who can offer a listening ear and a helping hand. You might just discover that the problem isn’t as threatening as it once seemed.
Asking yourself these five powerful questions can dramatically change your perspective about problems and turn what once appeared to be a mountains into a manageable molehills. Try out this new way of thinking as it can make life a bit easier all around and also pave the way for personal growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of yourself and the world.