Are you the person that just can’t say no, always puts others first. And feels a pang of guilt when someone is upset with you? You may a ‘people-pleasing prisoner’…
READ: 10 Strategies for Release from People Pleasing
People Pleasing Questionnaire
This multiple-choice questionnaire is designed to give you some insights into this habit. It’s NOT a diagnostic tool. But it can help you understand if you tend to lean towards people-pleasing, and its unhelpful effects.
1.When someone asks for your help, how do you usually respond?
A. I always say yes, even if I’m busy.
B. I sometimes say yes, depending on my schedule.
C. I usually say no unless it’s something I want to do.
2.You’re at a restaurant and your food isn’t what you ordered. What do you do?
A. Say nothing to avoid causing a fuss.
B. Politely ask the waiter to correct the order.
C. Complain loudly about the mistake.
3.How often do you find yourself agreeing with others just to avoid conflict?
A. Frequently, I hate arguments.
B. Sometimes, it depends on the situation.
C. Rarely, I’m not afraid to express my opinion.
4.When a friend criticizes you, how do you react?
A. I feel hurt but keep quiet to maintain the peace.
B. I take it into consideration but don’t let it affect me too much.
C. I defend myself and express my own point of view.
5.How often do you feel responsible for other people’s happiness?
A. Always, it’s important to me that everyone is happy.
B. Sometimes, but I know I can’t control how others feel.
C. Rarely, everyone is responsible for their own happiness.
6.When making decisions, whose opinion matters most to you?
A. Other people’s opinions are more important.
B. I consider others’ opinions, but ultimately make my own decision.
C. My opinion is the most important.
7.How do you feel when someone is upset with you?
A. Extremely uncomfortable, I will do anything to fix it.
B. A bit uneasy, but I know I can’t please everyone.
C. Indifferent, it’s their problem, not mine.
If you chose mostly ‘A’s, you might have a tendency towards people-pleasing. Mostly ‘B’s suggest a balanced approach, while ‘C’s indicate a more self-focused personality.
**Remember, this quiz is just a guide, and it’s always best to consult with a professional if you’re experiencing psychological distress.
No matter what your answers were, remember that it’s completely okay to want other people to be happy. But what is it costing you? It’s important to prioritize your own needs, happiness and well-being. Strengthen yourself first. Then you will be in a better position to engage with others in a honest and meaningful way.
So, now you suspect or realize that you have a tendency towards people-pleasing. Guess what? Recognizing this is the first big step towards setting healthier boundaries. Everyone has the capacity to change and grow. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re all works in progress, learning and evolving every day. It’s never too late to start putting yourself first more often. You are just as important as anyone else, and your needs matter too!
Give yourself a pat on the back for taking this step towards greater self-awareness. Keep striving for balance and remember to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you offer others. Keep going; you are doing well!