The words you tell yourself have a profound impact on your overall well-being. And, it turns out, your brain is hardwired to take your own words as the gospel truth. And its eavesdropping on these words all the time…, and does not take a joke either!
Discover how your thoughts have the power to shape your reality. And learn how to harness this incredible potential to become your own biggest cheerleader instead of your worst critic. Transform your life – one thought at a time!
Changing your mind and your brain
Neuroscience is the study of how your brain works. Neuroplasticity is about how your brain can change based on our changes to your thoughts and experiences. Self-talk can help you make new pathways in our brains that reinforce what you believe about yourself. When you do this often, it makes the pathways even stronger.
Your brain is wired to believe the stories you tell yourself. Pay attention to the thoughts in your head. They can have a huge impact on how confident and happy you feel.
Becoming aware of this connection between your thoughts and your brain function can help you use self-talk to make positive changes in your life. Instead of being influenced and directed unconsciously by your thoughts, you can consciously use this to work for you.
The brain is always listening and looking to ‘close the loop’ and make things consistent. That is, it looks to attract or make into reality that which you think and say. It also does not distinguish between the the thoughts that you mean, or the jokes that you make about yourself and your life. When your brain is eavesdropping, it takes all of this ‘inner voice’ chat as truth. Then it adjusts your view/perspective, and possible experiences, to find the evidence of it in your life.
Take a moment and think about how this process is playing out for you.
Negative Self-talk
Negative self-talk can present in different ways. Its overall effect is to pull the rug out from under your confidence and slow down your personal growth.
One common example is, catastrophic thinking where you exaggerate the potential negative outcomes of a situation. The associated self-talk includes: e.g. “If I fail this exam, I’ll never succeed in life”. This type of thinking can lead to increased stress and anxiety, making it difficult to focus on helpful problem-solving.
Another common form of thinking is when you link external events solely to yourself. E.g., “My friend didn’t reply to my text because I must have done something wrong/they don’t like me”. This can result in feelings of unworthiness and damage your self-esteem.
Or, all-or-nothing thinking that can push you to view situations in extreme terms (e.g., “I didn’t get the promotion, so I’m a complete failure”). This rigid mindset not only fuels self-doubt but also holds back your ability to recognize and appreciate our own strengths and achievements.
By identifying and challenging these distorted, undermining thought patterns, you can gradually replace them with more helpful, encouraging self-talk, and thoughts, of the kind that develops resilience and personal growth.
Practice positive self-talk to train your brain
This can have a significant impact on your mental well-being and overall outlook on life. It may feel uncomfortable or fake when you first do it, but its always a bit uncomfortable to do something new when you have done it the same way for so long. Just try to brush your teeth with the opposite hand or put on your trousers using the other leg first and see how this feels!
An easy-to-try example is to remind yourself of your strengths by saying, “I am capable and strong, and I can handle whatever comes my way.” This affirmation can strengthen your belief in your abilities and help build your confidence.
Another example is to focus on growth by telling yourself, “Mistakes are opportunities to learn and improve.” This mindset encourages you to view setbacks as valuable lessons rather than failures.
Finally, try expressing gratitude for the positive aspects of your life with statements like, “I am grateful for my supportive friends and family who help me through difficult times.”
This type of self-talk encourages a more optimistic attitude and is an antidote to negative thoughts. By making these simple yet effective positive self-talk examples part of your daily routine, you can grow your self-esteem, boost your resilience, and cultivate a healthier, more balanced perspective on life.
If this feels uncomfortable, false or too woo-woo for you, push through it and give it a try for one week, then one month, and build on this and see for yourself what difference it makes. Seek out and accumulate your own evidence through such an experiment. To actually do it, ‘fake-it-until-you-make-it’. Feed your brain something different and see if such a diet makes things feel better. What have you really got to lose?
Pay attention to your inner chat
Pay attention to the things you say to yourself. If you notice negative thoughts, challenge whether they are really true and replace them with positive ones. This will help boost your self-confidence and make it easier to handle tough situations. The power is in your own mind, so be aware of how you talk to yourself and use that power to reach your goals.
Write the thoughts and words down so that you can look at them and recognise them for what they are and the effect they have on how you feel, interact with people and lead your life.
Use the very process that you have got into a habit of beating yourself up with, give it a refurbish, and turn it into the answer to making positive changes to your life.
Its yours to do
This magic that you can do with your thinking and self-talk is under your control. You are the only one who can change this for yourself.
Start by becoming more aware of the ‘reflex’ things you think and say about yourself, your world and others. Write down the thoughts and words and look at them. Reflect on how they play out in your life and how they may be hammering your self-esteem.
You can even ask a trusted friend or family member what it is that they hear you say about yourself, your life and the world. This can be a source of some surprises. Often these things are what people come to associate us with and use to describe who we are – when its just a distortion of the real you!
If you struggle to do this, then research online, in books or work with a counsellor. Then replace them with meaningful helpful thoughts and language/phrases that you can use instead – and then start practising and practicing. Maybe add a smile when you are practising (even when it may feel fake or like a grimace at the beginning!) and see what happens.
The words you use to describe yourself has the potential to shape your life for better or worse. The brain has an uncanny ability to eavesdrop 24/7, believes your self-feedback and makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy. This can either propel you towards greatness or trap you with self-doubt. But now that you know a bit about this, it’s time to harness the power within.
By actively choosing to practice and use positive self-talk, you can rewire your brain to boost your confidence and develop a growth mindset. Change starts from within, and it’s never too late to upscale and redo your inner conversation into a source of strength and inspiration.